First Professional Tantra Session

Yesterday, I had my first Tantric massage client. The session was absolutely beautiful.

I had put myself on the schedule, expecting that I wouldn’t get any work on my very first day. I had spent the weekend with Josh and had not finished setting up my place. I had my laundry done, but I hadn’t finished cleaning.

Ra came over unexpectedly because he and his partner had had an argument. We were drinking tea and sharing a joint when I got the text: Can you see a client tonight for two hours?

“Oh shit!” I said, looking around at my messy apartment.

‘Sure,’ I texted back. ‘What time?’

‘8.’

It was just before 7.

Ra and I looked at each other. “Can we have this place client-ready in an hour?” I asked.

“Yes!” Ra and I instantly jumped into action. I scrubbed the toilet. Ra did the dishes. Soon, the massage table was out, covered with linens. The salt lamp and candles were lit. The place looked radiant.

I brewed some tea and jumped in the shower. Ra went down the street to a coffee shop. I changed into a simple green dress and colourful shawl. I took a few deep breaths. My stomach flipped. This was a completely new to me, and I would have to have something more than empty flirtations and posturing to offer the man who was on his way over.

He knocked. I took a deep breath and answered the door. My breath caught in my throat. He was an absolutely beautiful man, tall, with deep blue eyes and light brown hair. His eyes lit up when he saw me. I hugged him and invited him in, took his jacket (very sexy, form-fitting leather) and offered him tea. We each took our cups of peppermint tea and took a seat on the bench.

“I apologize for the small space,” I said, acknowledging the absence of a coffee table.

“No, it’s lovely here,” he said.

We chatted a little. I asked him about his experience with tantra and if he had had any sessions like this before. He was quite experienced, and had seen other practitioners for a variety of sessions. He asked me how long I have been doing this work.

“I’m new to the Temple,” I said. “But I have been studying and practicing this work in a different form for a little over a year. I’m giddy and nervous tonight because this is new to me.” My new thing is to be vulnerable and authentic whenever possible.

I told him my ideas for the session, stressing that it was free-flowing and depended on the energy between the two of us.

We undressed. I draped my shawl strategically over my body. He kept his underwear on at first. We got up on the massage table and sat in almost-yab yum. I reminded him (though I doubt he needed reminding) to eye gaze left eye to left eye and we started to breathe together. I was touched by how receptive and open he was during the meditations. He held my gaze gently, but steadily. We did alternate breathing, followed by more breathing together. By the end of the meditation, I felt grounded and at-ease. Of course, I still had flutters in my belly from being so close to such a gorgeous man, but I felt focused and happy. I placed one hand over his heart and took his hand and placed it over my heart. We stayed like that for a few breaths. Then I let my hands trace his hair and trail down his body, down his arms and over his fingers. He shyly reciprocated. I smiled and sighed softly to show my approval. I liked his touch.

I directed him off the table and to sit at the bench. I got down in front of him and ritually washed his feet with my homemade sugar and coconut oil scrub. The bowl was a bit too small, but I did my best and he seemed happy. Then I asked him to take off his underwear and lie on the table. He lay face down on the table. First, I covered his beautiful body with my orange Egyptian cotton sheet. I felt grounded and full of purpose. First, I traced a Reiki symbol into both of my finger tips and did the chakra balancing exercise that Rania taught me. I know that a lot of people scoff at the laying on of hands as a healing art, but I have always felt powerful things whenever I’ve been involved in such things. When the energy work part was done,  I uncovered his body slowly, teasing him with a feather followed by a cashmere hat that feels so soft. I remembered Rania and Don running something similar down my back and how wonderful it felt.

At one point, I looked up and noticed that he had left the donation too close to one of my candles and one of the twenty dollar bills was starting to catch fire. I quietly went over, moved the bills out of harm’s way and put out the fire before returning to the table. I was pretty pleased with how I handled that curve ball.

I went and grabbed my heated coconut oil off the oil warmer (you know you’ve arrived when you have an oil warmer), and returned to the table. I oiled up my hands and began the massage. Slowly, I ran my hands along his back, guiding him into deeper relaxation. It thrilled me how easily he relaxed into receiving. When I moved my hands down his arms, he clasped my hands in his, and I clasped back, enjoying the intimacy of that moment. I massaged his whole body, from his feet to his head, before inviting him to turn over.

I placed a pillow behind his head and one under his knees. Making eye contact, I poured oil through my fingers onto his chest and spread it all over him with playful, varied strokes. First, I focused on his chest and legs, avoiding his semi hard cock. Then I moved my hand over his cock, rubbing his shaft with the heel of my hand until it grew. Then, I moved my hands up his body, spreading the sexual energy away from his genitals to his heart. I held his heart with one hand, his cock with the other. Our breath synchronized, we were completely present with each other.

“Would you join me on the table?” He asked, sitting up. I climbed onto the table and we entered a full yab yum this time, his cock pressed against my belly, only the thin fabric of my thong between us. We breathed together and he ran his hands down my body, gently, respectfully, giving me pleasure. He took my head in his hands and kissed me, gently, tentatively, as though making sure that it was ok before going further. I kissed back.

“May I touch you there?” He asked, gesturing towards my pussy.

“Yes,” I said. “Just through my underwear.” I loved being able to set boundaries. There was a naked man on my massage table, and I was not expected to fuck him! How positively delicious and liberating!

He touched me very consciously, and made me feel wonderful. I responded to the touch, wanting more, wanting to remove the barrier and let him have at me. “May I push these aside?” He asked.

“I’ll take them off,” I said.

When they were gone, he lowered me onto the table. I had a moment of wondering if I would fall. “I’ve got you,” he said. “There’s plenty of room.”

He ran his fingers over me, touching my pussy gently and pleasingly. I let go into the pleasure, running my hands over my body.

“Do you have any condoms?” He asked.

“I don’t normally go there during these sessions,” I said.

“Oh, ok,” he said, looking a little embarrassed for having asked.

I looked into his lovely eyes and realized that, in that moment, I wanted him to fuck me. I wanted to share that experience with him. It would not feel like I was betraying myself if I let myself go there. Far from it.

“I’m tempted to make an exception for you,” I said. “If I do, you won’t tell, will you?” The last thing I needed was for it to get around that I was just another ‘full service provider’ after all I went through to break away from mainstream escorting.

“I won’t tell,” He said.

I got up and grabbed a couple of condoms and a packet of lube. He got up and washed the oil off of his cock, which impressed me greatly. He came back to the table and we sat, facing each other, touching and kissing. I rubbed some lube on his cock and put the condom on him. Holding my head in his hands, he lowered me to the table and slowly entered me. I responded enthusiastically – he felt wonderful. He kept looking into my eyes and I looked into his. My hands trailed down his back and up again. His eyes widened as he came, and I held him, sighing as I felt him reach his climax. He held me for a moment before going to the bathroom to clean up and dispose of the condom. I lay back on the table, completely at ease, comfortable being naked, happy to have shared a moment with someone who respected me and honoured what I had to offer.

He came back to me and enveloped me in a hug. I wrapped my arms around him, kissing his chest. “Thank you for making an exception for me,” he said. “It was my pleasure,” I replied, and meant it.

We held each other for a while before he moved away and started getting dressed. I helped him find his clothes. We hugged once more and then he was off into the night.

I texted Don and Rania to let them know the session was a success. ‘Everything went well. He was very sweet, and gorgeous!’

Ra came back and we high-fived and celebrated my first Tantric Temple client. We walked down the street and had tapas and a bottle of wine to celebrate new and exciting developments.

We came home and hung out a while before going to bed. We shared my double bed, and soon Ra was sound asleep. I traced my clit in the dark, feeling the swelling of sexual energy ebb and flow through my body. Eventually I went into the other room and lay down on the massage table, covering myself with a sheet. I touched myself all over until I was in a frenzy. Slowly, meditatively, I penetrated myself with my dildo, switching my finger for a vibrator. I fucked myself, first slow, then fast, fast fast. Soon, I was having a full-body orgasm followed by laughter and smiles. “I love my life” I said to myself.

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Practitioner Training part 1

Things are moving along at a very fast pace, and I am brimming with excitement about what is to come. Practitioner training this weekend was transformational. There were seven of us in the class, five of which are definitely going to be working with Rania and Don. It was such a beautiful workshop. I don’t know where to start. Being in the presence of such loving, talented people (mostly women) was remarkable. I think my longstanding desire for female friendship and sisterhood will be fulfilled by this group. 

 One fellow practitioner in particular, August, and I really connected. We had all kinds of strange quirky things in common. I am hoping to explore a friendship with her. 

 The gathering of practitioners felt very ancient and sacred, the sharing of taboo stories and knowledge. I slept on Rania and Don’s couch on Sunday night, and the next day they very kindly gave me a ride to the store to get a good quality portable massage table, and helped me with some furniture I had purchased and needed to get home. 

 Now, I must begin turning my home into a tantric temple. I admittedly am not the best housekeeper in the world, but I do have to step up my game in that department. I can handle it! It’s just another adventure. 

 They advised that I not quit the agency right away, but I find myself not wanting to work that way anymore. I haven’t officially quit, but I haven’t been working. The idea of fucking strangers for money feels so unappetizing right now. It’s like my body is rejecting that form of sex work. I need to meditate, focus on my yoga practice, and grow spiritually and be the best dakini I can possibly be.