We are so accustomed to hearing the downside of sex work, the horror stories of exploitation and abuse, drug use, broken marriages, emotional problems, etc etc. So today, I want to talk about the ways that being a whore is fabulous.
1. Helping people explore their sexuality.
This part makes me very happy. I love working with people who, for whatever reason, haven’t had a lot of opportunities to explore their desires. I have worked with women who are bicurious and want their first experience with a woman, men with various disabilities (so far no women with disabilities, but I’m still relatively new at this), and people with kinks that they are reluctant to discuss with anyone in their day-to-day life. The cool thing about helping people explore their sexuality is that in the process, you end up learning more about yourself too. And it’s pretty great to have my sexual skills rewarded after so many years of being punished for being a ‘slut’ in a sex-negative, conflicted culture.
2. Helping people heal from trauma, being a witness to people’s vulnerability and pain.
This part is especially gratifying to me. Sometimes, a session will begin with sexual activity and will turn into something more closely resembling a session with a grief counsellor. Other sessions have been naked coaching sessions helping men (usually men) be more present in their bodies and increase their sexual self-confidence. This work has helped me develop deeper compassion for men, seeing how much pressure men have on them to perform sexually, to be confident, and to know what they are doing. How wounded so many men are, and how little opportunities they have to talk about these wounds with anyone. I am grateful for the opportunity to be that person to them.
3. Teaching people new sexual skills
Since I started working as a whore, I have had the opportunity to teach a lot of men different things about how to give women pleasure. In fact, I have had men hire me just for that purpose. I have taught women how to fuck with a strap-on. I love the role of ‘sexpert’ or sexual teacher. Sure, I don’t know everything about sex, but now, with my experience, I have a lot to teach. It’s so much fun knowing that somebody is having more varied sex because of something I showed them. Super cool.
4. Flexible work hours
I’ve never had this much freedom before. I can take five days off when I want. I can make a lot of money in a short amount of time. Sure, it can get a bit stressful when things are slow, but when things go well, it’s fabulous. And the slow days and busy days always even out into a decent steady income stream. It’s not a ‘get-rich-quick’ scheme, but it’s a good, steady income with lots of flexibility and I am very happy about that.
5. Hanging out with other interesting, sex-positive people
I love the camaraderie I have with my fellow whores. And it’s great to have a work environment where you can talk openly about sex and joke around and tell bawdy stories. I feel like I can totally be myself at work, and I have never really felt that way before.